Why…

… eating roadkill is probably still a really bad idea.

PORTUGAL, WE NEED TO TALK

Portugal, you and I both know that you are in trouble.  You need more money.  That means getting more punters. The problem is that those punters are more in love with France. Sure, they entertain ...

On children at the cinema, when the movie was The Avengers

That’s the last time we go as a family to see a blockbuster on a Saturday afternoon. My nerves can’t stand it, and I fear one of us (me) will be arrested if we do ...

been drawing on dead trees

Stand up for your tongue!

Imagine the following scene: You live in Britain. You speak fluent English. You are in conversation with a similarly English-speaking British friend or acquaintance, when you say something like “…and I took out a fag ...

BOOBS! and other glands.

So, boobs. Again. I spent my morning in the mammogram waiting room. Before you worry, there was nothing of note to be found inside these bloody bazookas of mine, this isn’t one of those posts, ...

why f******k can f**k off and other related mini-posts

You may have noticed that I’ve been having a bit of a bloggery and twittery sabbatical. If you didn’t notice, that’s ok, but don’t tell me that you didn’t, for god’s sake. I’ve been trying ...